


Sideways Laughter

by Mendeia



Series: Proximity to Balance [16]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, One Shot, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 09:19:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mendeia/pseuds/Mendeia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even with an outlet for their skills and talents, even with each other to understand and share the burden, even with a world where peace was genuinely possible, the irrepressible nature of the former Gundam pilots found ways to leak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sideways Laughter

**Author's Note:**

> It's possible that someday these might turn into prompts of their own. We'll have to see. But for now, just let your imagination go where it will. Either way, this one somehow makes me giggle way too much.
> 
> Enjoy!

Even with an outlet for their skills and talents, even with each other to understand and share the burden, even with a world where peace was genuinely possible, the irrepressible nature of the former Gundam pilots found ways to leak. When their scars had retreated and their drive to lose themselves in familiar danger had abated, each of the young men found that simply following the rules and serving the greater good, while all excellent and honorable, was not very fulfilling.

So they each found ways of making things more "interesting" for themselves.

Trowa developed what Duo laughingly called his "secret identity crisis," wherein he would spontaneously decide to infiltrate something – a coffee shop, a law office, even a baseball team one memorable weekend – just to see how long he could go unnoticed in a place he did not belong. He would adopt a name and a persona, acquire the appropriate clothing, and just disappear into the crowd. Trowa became so adept at it that he started getting promotions and even paychecks in some of his infiltrations, being recognized for excellent service and competence when he would have admitted if asked that he had never done a minute's worth of work in any one of the places. But there was just something about his face that made people think he had impressed them.

Just once, Duo went along on one of his "outings." They were booted out of the banking headquarters in under three hours, Duo giggling maniacally while upstairs some poor technician tried to figure out how he had rigged every single printer in the building to simultaneously spit out pages of giant smiley faces.

Quatre had very little downtime, between Preventers and WEI, so he took to what he termed "extreme gaming." While others in his position might have resorted to gambling, Quatre instead programmed a large number of classic games, from chess to card games, board games, and dice games, on his handheld computer. He set the computer at a baseline and then challenged himself to defeat the autoplayer or risk the consequences. The first time he lost at chess, the computer converted every scrap of information on itself from Common to an obscure and extinct Italian dialect. When he lost just before the final round of a poker tournament, it spontaneously changed his network password every hour on the hour so he had to re-hack it while maintaining the poker handuntil he was able to win.

Just once, Trowa decided to play him in _go_ , one-on-one. They did very well against one another, but after only a few minutes they started adding a stopclock, a beaker of hydrochloric acid, and a fuse into the mix. The only real casualty in the end was the carpet, and Quatre had never liked that color anyway.

Heero returned to his roots as an adept computer hacker with a vengeance. Banks and governmental systems and corporations were simplicity itself for him to crack, so he turned to much more unusual vaults of information on the internet. On video-sharing sites, Heero developed a way to code a command into a tiny link only the size of a half-pixel, but when clicked, it would lead an unsuspecting user on an elaborate treasure hunt across dozens of sites and systems. On the fifth anniversary of the day Relena Peacecraft became "queen of the world," Heero worked for days so that every single person across the ESUN had their desktops, browsers, even proprietary systems changed to commemorate the date with a pink banner.

Just once, Quatre joined forces with Heero for an _epic_ hacking adventure. They never really told anyone what they had _done_ with all that time and the elaborate plans the others only barely overheard before it was all hidden, but the two smiled mysteriously whenever asked and answered, "maybe someday you'll find out." And those who knew them best knew well enough to fear for civilization itself from their matching grins.

Wufei mostly ignored or endured the pranks and antics of the others, but he had much the same impulse himself, even if he turned it towards what he called more "productive" acts. But "productive" appeared to also mean "heart-attack-inducing" because Wufei's chosen outlet was to test the ESUN or Relena Darlian's personal security and demonstrate all the weaknesses by the most expedient means possible – a mock attack. It drove Lady Une to _fits_ when she would get half-hysterical calls from the ESUN government saying a terrorist had arrived only to hear Chang Wufei's calm voice in the background giving his Preventers authorization code and beginning the lecture on their lax security. During a particularly boring week that spring, he went so far as to sneak into Relena's bedroom to prove that she was ill-protected, only to have the girl herself launch a heavy book at his head even after she recognized him. But all the disapproval in the world couldn't shake Wufei from his simple logic that the peace was not safe while the ESUN's leaders were such easy prey for a determined assailant, and after a few months, even Une gave up arguing.

Just once Heero tried to test Wufei in return, leading to tense game of cat-and-mouse throughout the ESUN presidential palace, each stalking the other, but only Heero aware that his target was friendly. Wufei barely got away without shooting Heero in the arm, and they both had to explain to the housekeeping staff later why the ancient suit of armor in the foyer looked as though it had been a participant in the much more recent war.

Duo was more straightforward in his efforts, leaving the world-changing stuff to the others. Instead, he found new and special ways of causing chaos on a local level, specifically, with the other four former pilots. It took only two days before Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei learned never ever to leave their phones or computers where Duo could find them unsupervised. From changing the message on a voicemail box to "This is that guy, with the stuff, and I do things. If you've got something to say, you better say it in rhyme and stuff or I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear you 'cause I don't do nothin' straight," to leaving impossibly tiny stink packets embedded in circuitry like very small, annoying bombs (that only ever went off when someone was in the middle of something important, of course), he did nothing to reduce the overall paranoia of his friends, and yet he very much increased their amusement, little as anyone would ever have admitted it.

Just once, Wufei bent that iron spine of his and decided to get in on the action with Duo. By the end of the week, the other three ex-pilots had been listed on 150 dating sites under various aliases, received flowers from dozens of admirers, woken up to vid-phone serenading by basement hacks as well as professional musicians, and had all their clothing replaced with pink tuxedos. Trowa, Heero, and Quatre never forgot and never forgave, and Duo and Wufei laughed themselves silly for _months_.

And just once, the five indulged themselves together as a unit.

Zechs never knew what hit him.


End file.
